Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
