its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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