Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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