Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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