You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
