id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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