May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
