he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
