Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize