He kissed a someone with a penis
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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