I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
