I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Less talking, more tequila
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
