I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
