My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
COCAINE IS GR8
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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