I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize