Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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