What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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