Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
