So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
