"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
