how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
