I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
