Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
