Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
