Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
