i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
