His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
