a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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