i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
