She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize