I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
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