It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Someone signed my nipple.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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