We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
