how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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