Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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