I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
