I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
