I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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