Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
