Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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