Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
