Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize