people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize