I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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