so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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