She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize