He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
