Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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