I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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