Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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