Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
