Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
