Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
