I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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