So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
