You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize