I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
