Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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