sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize