so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
