I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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