we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize