I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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