its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
