im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
