Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
