Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
