His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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