im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
this boner is exhausting
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
