I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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