it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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