three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
