Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
