Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Randomize