She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My ATM looks so different sober.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
