This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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