this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
